Here is a little story I wrote while not writing here, this is in fact why I haven't been writing here.
Vegetables
The Day of Reckoning
TO WHOMEVER MAY FIND THIS:
The year was 2054 in America, the country was split in to two camps. The two camps were, the junk food camp, and the healthy food camp. Junk food was selling of the market in the junk food camp. In the healthy camp healthy food was selling off the market as well. Obesity was a level 5 epidemic. That’s the highest epidemic level in 2054.
One day in a nuclear power plant in the junk food camp, a worker walked in and was carrying potato chips, sugar-filled candy, buttered popcorn, jolt, mountain dew, and gecko. He was really, really, really fat. While walking over a catwalk, he slipped and fell into a vat of nuclear waste, dropping everything in his hands. The chips, the candy, the popcorn, the mountain dew, the gecko, and the jolt fell into the vat. All of a sudden, the food started mutating, expanding molecules becoming giants! The food seized the healthy camp and turned it into part of the junk food camp.
Later that day, a woman who resisted the junk food takeover, was in a nuclear power plant carrying broccoli, carrots, and celery. She was also holding milk, water, and apple juice. She was too skinny and slipped on a catwalk. Dropping everything she had. That food changed just like the group before. Coincidence, I think not. I think fate made all this happen. Someway, somehow, it happened.
The healthy food turned against the junk food. The healthy food evened out the sides and, turned the people who went to the junk food camp earlier, back to the healthy food yet again. The healthy food camp looked up on the giant healthy food for protection. The healthy camp and the giant healthy food called themselves “The Unbeatable Veggies and Other Healthy Foods and Drinks.” When the junk food finally got off their giant couch, they decided to call themselves “The Old Lazy Junk.” Turns out they were.
Some people heard of a war between The Unbeatable Veggies and Other Healthy Foods and Drinks and The Old Lazy Junk. Rumors were spread.
The Unbeatable Veggies and Other Healthy Foods and Drinks had a group discussion to figure out what to do. They decided to hold a wrestling match. A special wrestling match. An Armageddon Elimination Match. Where one person from each team are in the ring and when you either tap out or are pinned your next teammate comes in. There are 6 people in a team, twelve people in all. There happens to be six foods and six drinks. That’s twelve people in the match. The match started. The match they call Food Wars.
The Junk food accepted the match after finally getting off the couch. If they were potatoes, they would be called “Couch Potatoes!” The Old Lazy Junk was so unorganized they forgot to practice. The Unbeatable Veggies and Other Healthy Foods were so ready they practiced too much. When the two teams decided to make a date, they had a week to practice.
With the healthy food exhausted with aches and sores, and the junk food with no experience at all, no one thought the fight would end in the first place.
The first people in were Celery who has a style like Rey Mysterio, and Candy who has the style of Shelton Benjamin. When they both were in the ring, Celery made the first move. He used quick but weak blows to the head of Candy. Candy fell down and Celery took charge and picked him up towards the ropes and then tripped him so that he leaned on the ropes while he ran across the opposite side and bounced back towards Candy, swung through the ropes and kicked Candy in the face. Then, Celery fell over from exhaustion. Candy got up and flipped over Celery and went in for the pin. One, two, thr… Celery escaped the pin. Celery repeated his quick blows and got Candy on the ground. Then, he got on the turnbuckle and back flipped onto Candy and pinned for a one, two, three. Celery waited for the greatest question yet, who’s next? He found out within two seconds. It was Mountain Dew who had a style of John Cena.
Mountain Dew was pretty good. He swung Celery behind his head and then flipped him over him. He went in for the pin he got a one two three! Celery was out. Milk, who had the style of Chris masters was in. As soon as he got in, he got the full nelson on Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew lost consciosness and was counted as a tapout. He went out.
Butter Popcorn who had the style of The Rock, came out slipping and sliding across the ring. Milk easily got the full nelson on Butter Popcorn then, he slipped out did the People’s Elbow and got the pin, one , two, three.
Out came Apple Juice who had the style of Edge. He came and rammed Butter Popcorn with his head, he came out on top with the one, two, three.
Jolt with the style of Chris Benoit came out. He was failing to do anything offensive for about a couple of minutes. Then, he finally hit Apple Juice in the face HARD! He fell, then Jolt picked up Apple Juice and grabbed him by the arm and dropped causing Apple Juice to tap out.
Then Broccoli who used the style of Batista, came out instantly. The Reowned Broccoli Bomb was used. The Broccoli bomb is a move where he picks you up and slams you down. And got the pin. One, two, three.Gecko was next, he had no style.He was easily pinned. Potato Chip came out with the style of Kane. He was ruthless kicking him in the face, picking him up by his neck and then slamming him down, he pinned him, one, two, three. Water came out.He was mad! He wanted to end the fight, but he couldn’t he had another teamate, carrot. Potato Chip used his rutheless moves to do damage to Water. Water tried to fight back but couldn’t do it and he got pinned. Carrot was next, he had the style of the Undertaker. If you know how much Undertaker and Kane hate each other, you know the fury of these two.
Well, the fight never ended, no one wanted to lose. The morale of this story is, why go with one group of foods, when you need a balance to stay healthy.
Best regards,
Keanu M. Kuhn
